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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Aging sucks

This is my first and newest blog, so for those of you that don't know me, this will be your first taste of the Real Emily.  I overshare and am very open with my body, and kind of disgusting.

First things first.  Yesterday, I visited a bridal shop in Sheboygan because they were having a dress sale.  As a musician, I have to wear gowns all the time, so I've just kind of gotten in the habit of buying dresses cheap when they are on sale.  I have a closet in my house of just dress clothes.  It goes like this (from left to right): A couple of Andres' suits, puffy vests, blazers/jackets, skirts, day/party dresses, floor-length gowns.  And of course, my wedding dress is in there somewhere.  Anyhoo, I bought TWO gowns for $50!!!  TWO!  And I am going to share them with you!  My sister was actually soooo jealous that we're going back either today or tomorrow ;)

Please don't judge me for taking these pictures first thing out of bed at 6:30 in the morning.  And please don't judge my chin :( I'm working on it ;)
Teal dress

This teal dress is my absolute fav!  The neckline is super flattering, and it's hard to tell from this angle (I used the timer on my camera sitting on my jewelry armoire in front of my bedroom curtain) but it makes my waist look super-thin.  This dress is going to be really versatile, and I'm excited.  It's not too pastely or bright to be used during fall or winter, but it's also not so dreary that I can't use it in spring or summer.  Yay!

Surprise! It's backless!
And how sexy is that?!  Can't wait for a concert when nobody realizes that it's backless, until I walk away.  Shabam!  There was actually another really sexy dress, but it was in this color, and what exactly am I going to do with TWO teal dresses?

Black Dress
My weight fluctuates.  I have fifteen pound scale that I am sometimes at the bottom of and sometimes at the top of.  Not usually too far in the middle, unless I'm in the process of going from one end to another.  I already have a black gown, but it happens to be at the top end of my sliding scale.  This one would be at the lower end, which I am on my way to right now.  The dress doesn't zip up yet, and after Andres tried for five minutes to squeeze me in as far as I could go, it'll probably be at least another five to ten pounds until I'm in it.  If it never happens, then hey, I can pay another $25 dollars to have it taken out a bit.  It'll still be an uber-cheap dress!  But now I have some incentive to make sure I fit in it by the November 13th Symphony concert.  I'm not doing anything special, but we're wearing our concert blacks, and this would be much sexier than my huge, but still cute, black one.

At this point you're wondering, where's the gross stuff?  Last night we went to the gym, and I ran the mile in 10 minutes again.  No, I ran 1.05 miles in 10:30.  Baha!  And it felt wayyyy better this time; much less difficult than a week ago.  I see 5Ks in my future...

Anyway, so then after that we made dinner and I ate a little (because honestly, who feels like eating after running and lifting?) and went to symphony rehearsal.  After about a half an hour, I was extremely uncomfortable, and I had to leave at the half-way break due to CONSTIPATION.  At 22-years-old, I can honestly say that I have not had this many problems with my bowels until the past year or so.  Hell, when I lived at school I crapped three times a day b/c of that terrible food. 

Now here's where it gets funny.  I stopped at Walgreens on my way home to pick up some overnight laxatives, rushed home and took two as directed.  Not five minutes later do I take a giant crap.  Now here I am this morning at 6:53 am, waiting for my dose of laxatives to kick in and for me to crap my pants.  This is why I elect not to go to class this morning.  For any of you who have ever pooped your pants before in public, it sucks.  (and yes, this happened to me as a grown adult, at Wal-Mart, after a night of heavy drinking)

Here's to starting to add flax seed to every thing I eat! Cheers!


  1. love the dresses... don't love the poop. but pooping does help to get the dresses on, no?

  2. Nice Emily. :) I'm fond of the Activia yogurts to stay regular. ;)

  3. Ugh. I've never tried them, but Yvonne opened one up in the registrar's office and it made the whole office smell like yeast. Nasty.

  4. Nice. The yogurt sucks here and the activia one is the closest taste I can get to American yogurt.

  5. i feel sorry for you :( I went and tried on more dresses today and I thought I was going to poop my pants in the store!